... a little rough lately, if I’m being honest. I’m sure you don’t remember that a few months back I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety. Well let’s just say the holidays and all the fun (and family crap) that comes along with it was extremely overwhelming. I thought i was handling it all ok until I took Chipmunk for her 6months update and they gave me the postpartum screening. I don’t remember my answers but the pediatrician checked in with me told me my numbers were higher this time for postpartum depression and anxiety and wanted to make sure I was ok. You guys, my hands started to shake, my heart started to race it was bananas. I have no problem talking about my anxiety when I start the conversation, but when someone else does. That’s a completely different story.
Now to say it’s been crazy is an understatement, we have had never ending colds, and sicknesses. I was in the Er with what we thought was a TIA or a mini stroke. Don’tworry your girls ok. The holidays happened and drama along with it as stated above. That can be wrapped up with I was raised by my mother who taught me if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything st all. And I’ve been EXTREMELY silent. It’s scary. Then we hit a pothole the size of a small dog which dented the passenger side tires, we needed a tow, while waiting for said tow the battery died.i ran to get bret from the gym with the kids and came home to our front door open, the police determined it was the wind because I took the lessser of two evils and just closed the door, don’t worry we make sure it’s locked st all times now.
It’s been a little too much, that I started to lose who I was I started to get depressed. How can I tell? Well for one I broke down the other night and told Bret that I can’t anymore, that if I didn’t HAVE to get up every day I wouldn’t. That I eat only because I’m nursing but I have no real desire to, and that not to be gross but it had been a solid 2 weeks since I had showered (at the time). It’s a strange place to be when you have never been there before. I ugly cried and my husband said to me, “it’s okay for you to talk to someone. Everyone needs it sometimes” you guys he told me it was OKAY to not be okay. I’ve said it before and I said it as often as I can. It I hear it from an outside source. Do you have ANY idea how much that helped me? He then went and ran the shower and lovingly pushed me in the bathroom and held the door closed because... well sanitary issues and all.
So this week I turned the big 29, and I unleaded all of the latest on my best friend, my sister, my person. It took me so long to say anything to her because she has her own life and her own things going on. She doesn’t need my mess but she told me ”you take a gut punch like a champ” then proceeded to tell me to get my shit together. But was WAY nicer than that. This girl gets me in a way that my husband never will understand and he is ok with it. She is the person that knows when I hesitate to answer a text excerpt the thoughts going through my head. She just knows. Even when I don’t say anything exactly what I need. And if you have a person like this in your life don’t ever let them go. They are the most precious people you will ever have. And I miss her dearly every single day.
So where was I going with this? Well I wanted to give you an update. Life is wild, and I’m trying my hardest to navigate it. I want to grow this blog to be more I was to do product reviews and I want to be a place where other moms can come and say that’s me! I am in that same boat. I want this to be a safe place. So let’s try that for a bit, shall we? I am hoping to get a few products to here to try out with the kids and around the house to review (all on my own because... gotta start somewhere) and we will go from there. Until I can I will keep you updated on how I’m doing and check in below leave me a comment, follow me on Instagram @chrissy_g1024 and let’s be friends!
Until next time!
