So here we are again...

 ...it’s been just about a year. Are we surprised? No? me either... see the thing is I’ve wanted to write this blog for the longest time. And I’ve started it a million times and I’ve erased every word. Wanna know why? Because i feel shame with for how I’m feeling. I have an amazing husband and two kids who light up a room and I feel lonely. And even though I’m constantly surrounded by people and 98% of the time someone is physically touching me I feel alone. 

So then I started to try and figure out why that is, and it’s a depressing realization. I have my husband and I have a few friends here in Florida and a handful acquaintances but I don’t have anyone that I can pick up the phone and say “hey let’s go get a coffee”, or “I need a girls night I’m coming over” or “I need to go walk the beach you in”. But the sad realization hit me last night talking to B I don’t have a tribe. And the people that I do have that I know if I called them and said I need to talk and they would listen well they have their own shit going on they don’t need to be burdened with my ramblings. 

We lost my father in law 9 months ago, so I’ve been in caregiver mode. What does that mean for me? Pushing through getting up every day and working and taking care of the kids and trying to keep the stress off B because I’m sure he’s got a lot on his mind. So I take the brunt of what needs done and do it. I feel guilty the few times I go out and if I’m being honest I don’t go out because I don’t want to feel guilty for leaving him to parent the kids. Oh and add the guilt for being a SHITTY housewife and the constant mess that’s around. But no never voicing this to him because how can I feel guilty or down or sad, he lost his dad. That matters more right? I’m not allowed to be anything other than the caregiver right? 

I have a million reason to be the happiest person in the world, and on the surface I bet it looks like that, but I am so lonely and sad 98% of the time, I take it out on the kids then cry because I feel guilty for yelling at them or pushing them off on the tv.And a smile hides a lot. I have my escape of reading. In the last 4.5 months I have read over 100 books, for no other reason than to escape reality for a bit. How can I say those word out loud to someone? How can I say those words without someone wanting to drop me off at a loony bin? 

I guess the worst part is feeling like not one person would bat an eye if I wasn’t around. No, I’m not planning to off myself. This is not a call for help. I feel like if to faded to the background would anyone notice? What is it about me that makes me special to people? Why do I stand out for people to want me around? It can’t be my looks, and my personality sucks. I’m blunt, people don’t like that I say the hard things to your face that most people say behind your back. I feel like I’m very easily replaceable. I’m sure someone with a lot of letters will find something from my childhood to link that too. 

Idk what this means, I guess I just needed to get the words out because I can be a burden to this blog, it’s mine if you read it that’s your choice. It’s not me calling or texting you to listen to my bullshit, but I can tell you I feel like a weight has been lifted, I guess an outlet is good. Who knows.

Am I rambling? I think I’m rambling. 

Baby makes Four....

... So, I decided that I wanted my first official trying to get back into this whole blog business to be about Miss A, or Chipmunk as she is know around our house. This is a LONG POST. You have been warned!!

It all started in November, well actually October we celebrated our anniversary 😉, Fast forward I wasn't sure if I was pregnant or not... So I took a test (SEE BELOW) . As you can see it was not positive or at least I didn't and don't see it positive. So I decided at that point we needed a backup birth control because clearly the one we were using just wasn't cutting it. I made an OBGYN appointment and they told me I couldn't get birth control because I was pregnant. So of course I called my Best Friend first CLEARLY that's what you do. She talked me down because I was FREAKING OUT.

I still don't see it!

Lets be honest here, I LOVED the idea of having more kids. I loved that Magoo might be a big brother ONE DAY. That day was not supposed to happen so soon. I needed more time with it just being the 3 of us. I needed to hold onto my first baby for as long as I could. God had a different plan for us. So I went to work and told my boss, that was nerve wracking. I decided I wanted to tell Bret in a "fun" way because with Magoo he was there for the test taking. And I wanted to actually read What to Expect when You're Expecting this time around. So when we got home I found the book in Magoo's book shelf, and told him to take it to daddy. Brets reaction was shock I think, could also be because magoo dropped it on his lap in the bathroom? Who knows, But then we went to the dollar store and I took about 2 or 3 more tests JUST to be sure.

And after that it was a textbook pregnancy, literally no issues. I did have to have ultra sounds every month because of my BMI. Which really meant once a month I got to see Baby girl which was so comforting. At 32 weeks I had to have Non- Stress Tests (NST) to make sure that she was alright in there. She had us sent to Triage 3 times. Third time was the charm and she was born. Did you need all that back story to hear her birth srory? Yes, yes you did.

It started on June 23, 2018 we went to a birthday party for my boss at a park. It was warm out but not hot, I kept hydrated. Magoo played with the other kids it was a good time. Both Bret and I started to get headaches so we cut out a little early and headed home as we had an hour drive. I went to get my hair cut, just like I did before Magoo was born. Fast forward to Sunday, Magoo and I went to my moms house for my brothers 13th Birthday, I still had the headache but it was so mild I was not concerned I again was very well hydrated and stayed off my feet as much as possible. That night I had THE WORST migraine ever. I mean I was dreaming about how terrible the headache was. When I woke up on June 25, 2018 I knew it was going to be a long day.

I tried everything I could think of to get rid of the headache, except taking medicine for it. I NEVER take medicine and I was not about to start while pregnant. I had an OB appointment that afternoon so I called to see if they wanted me to come in earlier. Of course I had to leave a message, the nurse called back. I missed it. By that time I was already leaving for the appointment so I just figured I would tell them when I got there. When the nurse took me back I told her right away, I've had a headache all day and its not going away or getting better. My Blood pressure was a little high. My OB came in, I told her what was going on and she told me " you earned yourself a trip to triage, lets sign the consent forms incase we decide to deliver you". I happily signed the forms.

I left the office called my work told them I wasn't coming back and was probably having a baby, then I called my mom asked her to pick up magoo from school, and then I called Bret 213554 times. He FINALLY answered I told him "listen I have to go to triage, I want you to come because I think we are having a baby today". I drove home got him then headed to triage. You know when you just know, that something is going to happen. Like somehow you just know it. I knew that we were having our baby that day. When we got into triage and the OB on call walked in and I just knew it meant we were having a baby! We were initially told that it would be around 9 because of the last time I ate and the anesthesiologist wanted me to wait. But then they said between 6 or 7 would be safe for our C-Section.

We walked back a little bit before 8 pm. They took me in and the team that I had was AMAZING! As soon as I walked into the OR my legs got shaky. This time was COMPLETELY different from when Magoo was born. I was awake and didn't go through hours of pushing to end up there. I just worked all day. They explained everything that was going to happen. It calmed me down so much! They numbed me, got me all ready to go. Bret came in, they started the surgery and at 8:04 PM our daughter was born. Let me tell you, sitting here right now I am hit with all the emotions that I had at that exact moment. She was 6 lbs 12 oz and 21in long. And she is pure perfection!

Big Brother, Mimi, Aunt Laci and Uncle Ryan came to meet Miss A the next morning. When they walked in Magoo said to me " Mommy why is my baby not in your belly?" He was scared of her at first because she was SO SMALL. Now they simply adore each other. Here we are 5 days short of Magoos 4th Birthday and Chipmunks 3 month milestone, I cant believe its already been 3 months. Now we are a family of 4. I would not want it any other way!

If you made it this far, thank you. I have so many things I want to talk to you about. But that will have to wait for next time. I PROMISE they wont all be a small novel.

Until Next time...

WOW I am really bad at this

Listen, I get it. Ive never be a "dear diary" girl because life happens and then I forget to write about life.

Its been just shy of 2 years since I was all " Im going to get fit" spoiler alert, it didn't happen.

Heres a QUICK recap of the last year and a half, READY? GO...


Magoo learned to use the potty!!!

We went to Florida for a wedding, It was beautiful!

Magoo played soccer...



We moved into our own place

Then this happened....

We went back to Florida for Another wedding ,and this was by far my favorite Wedding ever!



Which brought us to June and we welcomed Our Little Chipmunk...

AAWWWWW Isnt she so cute?!

Yes I think she is...

So as you can see its not that I didn't want to write in this little blog of mine. Its that I have been INSANELY busy. But you know what. I am learning so many new things being a mom of 2. Its wild how different it all is.

We are in a new world here with Miss A. We are cloth diapering, which will be a while new post in itself. But I want to get back to this. I love doing it and its a good way for me to keep some memories alive and to meet new moms, or dads, or people who like to read blogs that are updated once every year and a half... heh...

I hope ya stick around because I have some ideas in mind for this bad boy.

I havent peed...

... Without an audience in months! And the reason I tell you that is because I haven't had time alone long enough to finish this blog since before I wrote the last one. I know that sounds crazy. I write this on my phone in the few minutes in the morning before the boys wake up. Or in the bathroom at work. #classy! There is not much at all to catch up on. Mainly because I don't feel as though my day to day is all that
I had a whole get rich quick scheme in mind when I started to do this. I thought I will write a blog. It can't be that hard. Boy was I ever wrong. It's pretty hard to dedicate yourself to something like this. Especially when you don't see a reason for anyone ( even your husband, who you force) to read it. I'm completely honestly not that interesting. But I thought. I know I will start a blog and I'll be sassy, and funny and people will love me. They will forgive my run on sentences, and misspelled words. And I will possibly make some money doing this. Ha jokes on me. Because that only works if you work at it. Nothing comes free. Hot damn does that saying hold so true with this little hobby of mine.

I guess biggest news is..... Drum roll please. The biopsy results came back benign! That's right o just have a hitch hicker in my neck. I don't have cancer which is amazing. I have to go back in a year for another scan and to make sure that it doesn't turn the other cheek and become a jerk. That bein. Said The cyst has started to fill again. Amazing I know. But what does that mean? It means that I eventually need to make another appointment with my ENT to get it looked at and either drained, or removed. Who knows. But again good news is that it's just a hitch hicker.

What else? What else? Have you ever felt like ther is so much you want to say but then nothing comes to mind? That's me , at this very second. This has been sitting and waiting to be posted for probably 4 weeks. And I have opened it and looked at it. The little curser has blinked at me like " hey finish me" but I just haven't felt like there was a way to end this post. So right now I am sitting with my best guy. We are watching the good dinasour. He is eating a cookie , and I am typing away.  It's funny how quickly a toddler will change his mind. Now he is outside splashing in a puddle. Not a worry in the world. And he's having a blast! I want to be like him when I grow up. So happy and full of love.

I will try to be more regular, and hopefully I will find a way to dedicate myself to this better. It's not gonna be what I want it to be without me. So it's time to figure it all out I guess.


Until next time...

A quick Little...

...DIY project..( and fun surprise at the end )

So I have wanted to make something for Magoo's space that we could use in his room as he gets older, and then throughout the house when he is a teenager and is sick of it.

The inspiration:  

We went to A.C.Moore. I love that store it's right up there with Hobby Lobby for my top 2 craft stores. They have amazing deals and prices all the time! 

I saw the glass blocks and lights on an end cap. Of course it caught my attention like a shiny object. 

($5.00 on sale originally 6.97)

($2.99)

(2.99) 

Okay it is super easy to do this but first make sure that the opening is on the bottom.  

Remove the backing of the vinyl that your purchased and place it onto the glass cube. 

 Use a crafting stick ( or a pencil) to transfer the vinyl to the glass. 

Remove the white and then put the lights inside.

Turn it on to check it out. 

Violá you are done!

Like I said it was incredibly easy. Took me all of 10 minutes to do. and cost roughly $11.00 to complete, people are selling them for roughly $20.00 or more. 

I love it and can't wait to put in in Magoo's Room!

Now for the surprise, I was introduced to Erin Condren planners by none other than Nikki (Honest Fox Blog) I bought one for my birthday. A gift to myself, and now I'm giving you a gift too. Follow this link and save $10.00 off your order!

http://www.erincondren.com/referral/invite/christinagalbreth0117

Seriously check it out, I can't wait until mine shows up and I will for sure post a review!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Until Next time...

November means....

...Sharing what you are thankful for.

In all actuality we should remind everyone what we are thankful for all the time. But november having thanksgiving makes everyone a little more thankful.

I am going to try to post a thankful blog more than just in november. But lets be honest, that might not happen. You've all gathered that by now, huh?

Tonight, right now I am so thankful for my mom. We don't see eye to eye ALL the time. That is common with mothers and daughters. But next to my husband my mom is my best friend. I tell her everything, and once a day I say or do something that confirms it. I am just like my mom.

My mom ha shown me what it means to be a great mother. I am learning from the best! There is nothing better than knowing you have people in your corner at all times. I now as a mom understand the depth you can have for someone. I tell her all the time. I hope I'm half the mom you are. growing up we wanted for nothing. Mom always found a way to keep us happy. Granted it was in the 90's so having the latest ipad was not even a option. But mom showed us what family is about and what it means to put your kids first.

I know i do things to drive her absolutely insane, and vice versa. But that's how we work.

I couldn't imagine a better person to look up to and idealize. I hope I make her proud every day.

So for my first thankful post in the month of November, I am thankful for my mom.