Just be positive....

I have finally decided on a schedule, not for my life because that would be way too organized. But for this little hobby of mine. Now the trick is keeping the schedule. I have no idea why that seems to be difficult, its really not that hard. However I always find a way to not do it. Such a slacker.

I'm not even sure what I want to post about. I have like 18 different ideas rolling around in my noggin. None of them seem to be interesting enough to blog about. "A bunch of words about nothing" to quote my brother. With my terrible grammar I'm surprised anyone even reads this thing.  I guess that's what I want to write about, right now you are my diary. This isn't going to be a humorous post. I'm not feeling it, I haven't been in a very joking mood since I don't know. Probably Wednesday.

Yep, extremely appropriate.

Bret asked me today, whats wrong? Its not something that I can explain. I guess easiest way to explain it. I'm Tired. Its that simple. I'm tired of everything... I'm tired of negativity, silence and digs. Just let me be. Leave me alone. I am in a does not play well with others kind of mood. And that doesn't even mean that I am going to explode. It means the opposite. I want to just be alone. Sitting outside by myself for a while, or taking a walk. 

Is it because Magoo is turning one (I cant even)  possibly, it could also be PMS. I have so much to do its probably just the stress. I don't handle stress well. The things that are coming to my plate right now, aren't even things that I need to worry about. I'm a little busy.

I had three paragraphs typed out and then I  began to feel as though this is just a bitch fest... probably is. But its not anything that I can say out loud without being called a bitch, or a crybaby, or a Bridezilla. Not that any of those names aren't apt at the moment. They probably are all absolutely correct. I don't know, how do you explain to someone that you are tired of getting unsolicited comments and opinions. Or  questions that have been answered 3 or 4 times already and that you are on the verge of just crying because you don't know how else to get it all out. So you remain mostly silent because its just easier than dealing with the outcome.

Its jut not that easy for me to do that. Its easier to keep it all in. Withdraw and deal with my crap on my own.Its not like Im asking for much right now. Just support. That's it. Positive support. Stop all the negativity. I get it being negative and picking at other people make one feel better with situations they are dealing with. But, god damn just let it go. You will feel better, I promise!

Just be positive....

 I feel better, well a little anyway... Hopefully I can change my outlook by Friday. My baby boy is turning one, He is absolutely the best thing that I have ever done in my life...

Until Next Time....